Yes, No, Maybe...

Find out how a simple game can introduce new sex acts into your bedroom time...

Sex is good for us. With a myriad of benefits including lower blood pressure, better immune system, improved self esteem, decreased depression and anxiety, natural pain relief and better sleep, we should all be making our sex lives a priority. 

Communication in the bedroom can be a challenge. Sex is a deeply personal thing and we can all get anxious or scared of rejection, especially when it comes to sharing our deepest desires. The fear of a partner not being into the same things as you, or even being turned off by what turns you on keeps most people deadly silent when it comes to sharing our fantasies. 

Remember that what you like in bed doesn't define who you are. We are all different and can be turned on by such a huge spectrum of different things, and in all likelihood that weird thing that you fancy trying probably isn't that weird at all in the scheme of things. Fetishes and kinks are very common and keep in mind that until very recently were so taboo that they would hardly ever even get discussed. Opening up the conversation about sex has also opened up the conversation about kinks, helped along by popular culture and porn of course.

Also remember that being upfront about what you want is sexy, every partner wants to please and giving them the tools to please you is only going to strengthen your relationship, if done carefully. Because it can be scary to just bring up that you'd like to try something new. Here is where the Yes, No, Maybe list comes in.

Basically you and your partner both (separately) go through a list of sexual acts and rate them as Yes, No, Maybe. You can also use Unsure and rate on a scale. Once you've both finished you trade lists and see where the Yes's match and then talk about the Maybe's that match. You can also use the No's as a catalyst for conversation if you'd like.

Where you both want to try something you can explore more in the conversation about it, for example if you'd both like to be tied up what will you use, where would you like to be tied up etc. 

There are plenty of Yes, No, Maybe lists to be found online, in particular I like Sex With Emily's list which you can get here.

There are also apps which allow you to match your desires with your partner's, you can take a look at UnderCovers which uses an interface similar to Tinder where you swipe right, left or middle for each kink on their list. Kindu is similar but also allows you to enter your own fantasies. If you get a kink match with your partner you're told what it is, if not it disappears.

Watching porn together is also a fantastic way to explore your likes with a partner... Check out JoyBear's Pleasure Fix where couples use an app to explore their deepest desires...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x