What Women Want

In our ironically titled feature Straight Man Porn, we follow writer Jeff (Marcus Quillan) as he is commissioned to write some short erotic stories. Being a straight man he soon realises that his ideas, expectations and assumptions are pretty cock-centric and based around outdated mainstream porn tropes that are well past their sell by date!

Episode 3 is titled What Women Want and find Jeff writing a girl-on-girl scene. Having never worn fake nails and also not having a vagina, Jeff is soon drowning in clichés. Clichés gathered from the male-gaze led mainstream porn of what women do when men aren't there. Luckily for him, his neighbour Jill (Loveday) spots his notebook and explains to him that he's got female pleasure all wrong, and she's only too happy to help educate him.

Soon his story of Bonnie and Gillian (Honour May and Lara Lee) having a cheesy pillow fight morphs into a realistic and sensual scene of two women truly pleasuring each other, using their tongues, fingers and toys to make sure that they both enjoy intense climaxes.

This scene got me thinking though, what is it that women want? Of course sex is not a one-size-fits-all activity, however I felt that there would be a few things that most women would like more of in the bedroom, so I set out to find out more with some internet research and an entirely non scientific survey of a few women friends. Here's what I found...

Women want foreplay

Well, I would hope that everyone wants foreplay, however generally it takes longer for women to become aroused than men, often taking around 20 minutes. 

"Dr. Ruth" Westheimer, EdD, a psychosexual therapist, professor at New York University, and lecturer at Yale and Princeton universities says "It's particularly important for women to have successful foreplay because it takes a woman a longer time [than a man] to get up to the level of arousal needed to orgasm."

While a man can become aroused and ready for sex from a thought, image or touch, in general women also require an emotional aspect to the foreplay, wanting to feel wanted for some. If you feel like your partner isn't really into you then getting turned on will be the last thing on your mind. Taking time with plenty of foreplay, kissing, caressing and hugging, helps to prepare your body for a pleasurable session. Taking more time over foreplay also increases the chance of orgasm for women.

Women want to feel comfortable to take their time

This relates, of course, to the fact that it can take a while for a woman to be fully aroused. I know from personal experience, and that of friends, that if you feel pressure to 'perform' then that makes performing very difficult. Although orgasms are awesome, they should be seen as the cherry on top of a cake of sex - even without the cherry the cake is still delicious. If you're only focussed on orgasm, you can miss out on so much fun and pleasure, as well as reducing the chances of having one at all!

One of the sexiest things a partner can communicate is for you to relax and take your time. 

Women want their erogenous zones explored

Again, I think everyone will like this given a chance, but my friends all said that they liked their bodies fully explored, not just their breasts and pussies. Perhaps for the very reason that it slows things down and allows them to get more turned on, either way exploring 'non sexual' areas can be very, well, sexual!

Women want toys

And they want their partners to be comfortable with that. In non solo sex, toys should be seen as an enhancer, not a replacer. There are so many couple's toys available now so there's plenty to explore. Sex toys are much more than just rabbit vibrators.

This is by no means an exhaustive list and I would love to hear what you think in the comments...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x

Picture from What Women Want - watch here