Have you ever fantasised about watching your partner masturbate, or even have sex with someone else? Would you like to be watched? 

Voyeurism is the practice of gaining sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked or engaged in sexual activity. As far as fetishes go it's relatively common but there isn't a lot of research on it. Of course many people masturbate while watching porn which, when you think about it, is a form of voyeurism. While it's most common to be watching others, some people also get off on listening to others getting it on together, or even just hearing about other's sexual escapades.

What we are talking about here isn't the non consensual Peeping Tom type of experience, but voyeurism as a fully consensual and erotic experience for all involved.

In Secret Sex Society 2, Episode 1 - Calling the Shots Emmy peeks into a bedroom to watch Gideon and Martha being instructed in bed by Gideon's partner Suz. The couple slowly undress, directed and watched by Suz, kissing and caressing each other's bodies with plenty of oral action, before being guided through their sex positions by her, before they both climax under her gaze. 

In this case Suz is the voyeur and also in control of the situation, allowing Gideon to explore the idea of submission and also exhibitionism. If you haven't already, give this episode a watch as if any of these ideas are turning you on then there's plenty of inspiration for you here...

So just why is voyeurism a fetish? If you think about it we all engage in some for of voyeurism on a daily basis. People watching while you drink your morning coffee, watching your partner sleep or get ready, taking in the crowd at a party. So just why do some of us love watching so much?

Freud talks about voyeurism in children as an attempt to uncover what is private and forbidden, especially when it comes to looking at other people's bodies. So there can also be a play between pleasure and danger, intrigue and seeing something that you're not supposed to.

Which brings us neatly to the fact that as with all fetishes, voyeurism can be done in a fun and consensual way or in a non-consenting and harmful way. Voyeuristic disorder is a paraphilic disorder - the individual normally experiences sexual arousal when spying intentionally on unsuspecting people. So as always, consent is sexy, make sure that every sexual act you engage in with your partner has been agreed on and communicated beforehand.

So how can we experiment with voyeurism? Why not try watching your partner masturbate? Or if that seems too much then start with watching them shower or bathe and see how you both feel about that. Further along the spectrum and for those in a more open relationship, you can bring in another person to watch your partner have sex with. Threesomes can be love or hate, but done carefully with the right people they can be super hot. 

Watching your lover get it on with someone else validates their attractiveness, confirms our good choices and can even make us desire our partners that much more. Partner swapping also creates competition for attention, and most of us do love a little competition...

Do you enjoy being watched? I'd love to hear your experiences...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x