Have you watched Episode 4 of Slut*ish yet? Titled Antici........Pation, it stars Julia Roca as Dharma and Maria Riot as Ingrid... Dharma is fucking a guy in an open relationship, so when he's out of town she likes to find herself a new hookup. She enjoys the preparation - the searching, the chatting, the waiting, it all turns her on. She loves to spend time getting ready for her new friend to arrive so that when they do she is ready for anything. We join Dharma with Ingrid by the pool as they indulge in a slow and sensual erotic session together. 

This scene got me thinking, in a world where  more people are taking ownership of their sexuality and being honest about their needs - some people want casual connections, physical closeness without being tied down. Dating apps like Tinder have only made it easier, and fun, to find a hookup than ever before. But not everyone manages successful hookups, so this week I look at how we give ourselves the best chance of the best time...

1. Honesty. Honesty is most definitely the best policy when it comes to casual sex. Be honest about what you are looking for, none of us like to be led on and honesty from the start will give you a much better chance of a successful roll in the hay with no hurt feelings.

2. Respect. This goes without saying really, but it's worth a reminder. Be respectful in the way you speak to people, especially at the start. Later on you might get into dirty talk, but most people like to get to know each other at least a little before engaging in sexual chat. 

3. Consent. Respect leads us neatly  onto consent. Remember that consent is sexy! Always be 100% clear that you and your partner are both giving clear consent, and this goes for messaging as well. Nobody likes unsolicited dick pics. Nobody. But a consensual exchange of sexy snaps? Perhaps. Ask first... And once you're together make mutual consent and pleasure your focus.

4. Anyone can take the lead. In my view this can go for dating too, but some people prefer the man to make the first move in relationships. However, for casual sex thankfully gender boundaries have been erased somewhat and anyone can and should make the first step. Women, if you are chatting to a man you like and you want to meet up, just ask. Most men adore dominant and self assured women, so be bold. This also goes for when you meet up. Either partner can initiate a first kiss...

5. Connect. Maybe it's just a casual fling, or even a one time thing, but taking the time to try and connect with your partner is going to make your encounter much better for both of you. Don't treat your partner as just a way to get off. If you both fully focus your attention on each other and be present in the moment together you are bound to have a more sensual and rewarding experience.

6. Eye contact. Simple but effective. Direct eye contact shows that you are fully into your partner and can be incredibly erotic. Check out my posts on Tantra for Beginners for more tips about this.

7. Fresh breath. Obvious? Maybe, but kissing with fresh breath is just better isn't it? Keep a pack of mints or gum in your bag.

8. Stay safe. Always use condoms, both partners should bring supplies. Remember that by arriving prepared you show that your intentions are serious and that you care about and respect your sex partner. Also, when meeting someone for the first time make sure to let a friend know where you are going and who you are meeting. Be safe and sensible and always go with your gut instinct if you feel uncomfortable. 

9. Be a polite guest, or a good host. Everybody likes to feel respected.

10. Have fun! Remember to keep things light and don't take things too seriously, that was the point in the first place wasn't it? First time sex with a new partner can feel weird so keep a sense of humour and an open mind.

I'd love to hear about your hookup adventures or tips...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x