When was the last time you were touched in a sensual way? This doesn't necessarily have to relate to sex or foreplay. Sensual touch can be a stroke on the small of your back, or an arm around your shoulders. Small touches can let someone know that you care for and appreciate them.

Of course with a new partner that you are really into, these intimate touches come naturally. You want to make these contacts and your attention is very focussed on that person. Then sometimes when we have been with a partner for a while, we can get stuck in ruts, work and life get in the way and we forget the power of small gestures, that can make a real difference. We discover what works for each other and things can get stale in the bedroom. We rush and don't take time over foreplay and exploration.

By incorporating more sensual touch into your life you can improve your connection and enjoy life both inside and outside of the bedroom more.

1. Small touches soon add up...
Make the effort to be more affectionate throughout the day, kisses on the cheek, holding hands. Note that these touches are not sexual, touch just for the sake of touching, with no pressure for it to lead anywhere is a really beautiful thing. I know friends who have consciously avoided touching their partner because it always had to lead to sex. So when they were tired or just not in the mood they had to hold back. Yes, sensual touch is a great foreplay technique, but it is also a beautiful way to bond.

2. Take your time...
If you want to bring sensual touch into your love making then you need to set aside some extra time. Make a date with your partner, turn off your phones and try an hour of exploration.

3. Learn some massage basics
You can take a course or learn some simple techniques online. A good rule of thumb for beginners is to imagine what you would like, and try that on your partner. Remember to communicate and be led by their likes. Even if you have no skills whatsoever, a bottle of massage oil gently stroked into your partner's back is always going to feel amazing!

4. Learn your erogenous zones
Spend time exploring each other one by one with gentle strokes. You will soon find out where the most pleasurable places are. Which you can both use to your advantage during foreplay and sex. Leave the most erogenous zones until last and build up some delicious tension.

5. Experiment with different types of touch
Everybody has different levels of sensitivity and likes different sort of touches. For some people stroking, for others spanking! The only way you will find out what you like the most is by exploration and communication. Remember that if you want to try any sort of impact play you need to prepare and ideally do some research before, you can check out our Beginners Guide to Impact Play here.

6. Don't set goals
By which I mean, don't make sex the goal. Don't make orgasm the goal. Just explore. Goals create pressure to perform which nobody wants or needs. 

7. Maybe add a blindfold
Depriving ourselves of one sense can heighten the others. A blindfold is a fantastic and simple way to try this. Take turns and use different touches or even other props such as feathers. Check out our tips on using blindfolds in the bedroom here.

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x

Pictured - Yiming Curiosity and Chris Cobalt in Skin Hunger which you can watch here