How's your libido?

So we are nearing the end of 2020... I think we can all agree that in many ways it has been a stressful year that's changed our lives and impacted our relationships in myriad ways. If you experienced lockdown this could have either put a strain on your relationship through proximity or through being apart from your partner. Stress can have an enormous effect on your sex drive, so if you've been feeling less than super sexual this year then don't worry, you are certainly not the only one! However, partnered up or single, pleasure is something that we should all make time for. There's plenty of health benefits to regular orgasms, and if you are in a relationship keeping the physical spark going is important, and fun. Inspired by Bea's love for sex in our latest release Slut*ish I started to wonder about the best ways to keep myself feeling full of desire. It always seems easier in summer, with all the skimpy clothes and warm temperatures, whereas in winter I can be prone to go into hibernation mode... So just how can we make sure that we are making the most of our libidos?

Firstly, realise that there is no such thing as a 'normal' sex drive. In a relationship it helps if you and your partner have similar libidos, but it is by no means a dealbreaker if your ideal number of romantic encounters doesn't match. Levels of desire are different for everyone and your libido may fluctuate over time anyway. Lack of desire is only an issue if it is distressing you, and if that is the case then the first step is to look at why your libido may be low.

1. Ask yourself - are you stressed out? A common culprit of low sex drive is stress. We all know how important it is to reduce stress levels day to day, yet modern life sometimes seems to just add more and more to our already full plates and you can easily become overwhelmed. If you are having trouble managing your stress there are lots of things you can try - don't be afraid to ask for help and support from family, friends or a therapist. You can try regular meditation, exercise and mindfulness activities. Apps like Headspace can be really helpful in getting you started.

2. Start to learn what turns you on. Get curious about your desires and try to understand arousal. Desire doesn't always just turn up, most people need to be aroused first, and luckily there are plenty of ways to spark arousal... Including of course watching porn! But also fantasising, sexting, reading or listening to erotica, masturbating, experimenting with sex toys... Give yourself time to do this, in our busy lives sex can get pushed to the bottom of the To Do list far too often and instead we find ourselves mindlessly scrolling social media or binge watching Netflix. So make a date, perhaps just half an hour to start with, where you will just focus on yourself and what turns you on.

3. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep can increase stress and irritability, as you most likely know. Life is better and easier on a good nights sleep so prioritise rest.

4. Try some aphrodisiac foods... Eating a healthy diet is good for your general health and sex drive, but maybe try adding in some extra figs, bananas and avocados, which contain important vitamins and minerals that increase blood flow so are considered aphrodisiacs. There's always oysters too, although I am personally not a fan and some reports say that they help increase testosterone so are more effective on men anyway...

Do you have any other libido increasing tips? I'd love to hear in the comments...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x