All about wax play...

So just what is wax play? I'm sure that we've all played with wax at some point in our lives, dipping fingertips into freshly blown out tea lights is definitely something that I enjoy. However it wasn't until I was moving some candles and accidentally dripped wax onto my friend's hand that I started to think about it in an erotic sense. 

'Ouch!' my friend Amy said, 'Oh I am so so sorry,' I replied, also quite worried that it might have also spilled onto her long hair. 'Don't worry, it's fine, you know that it's quite a turn on for some people?' she said with a cheeky smile, so of course I had to investigate further...

In the world of BDSM, wax play is the act of dripping melted wax onto a participants skin. However simple that sounds, it is in fact reasonably dangerous and can lean towards the intermediate or advanced end of the BDSM scale. We are literally playing with fire. So how do we get started and how do we get into wax play safely?

Firstly - use the right wax. The safest to use is soy, which melts around 46C and cools quickly on contact with the skin. Paraffin candles melt at a hotter temperature and require more care - they burn at 47-66C, so should be used by more experienced participants and also those with a higher pain threshold.

Beeswax is the hottest burning wax, it burns between 63 and 90C and is not suitable. Also stay away from anything with colourings or dyes as they can change the melting point of a candle and could result in a burn that you didn't expect.

You can buy candles specifically made for wax play called Bondage Candles, these have a lower melting point so are safer to use. You can also look at Massage Candles - this wax turns to body oil on contact which I definitely like the sound of as a beginner. Also who doesn't love a sensual massage from a partner? A search for Massage Candles turns up lots of beautifully scented offerings...

Secondly you should prep your environment. Keep in mind we are playing with fire here so you need to have a way to put out any accidents that may happen - a bucket of water or sand, fire blanket or extinguisher. Be mindful of curtains, flammable materials and your hair if it's long. Wax can be really messy but you can use an old sheet or other covering to protect your bed or floor. Also prep your skin. Experts say that using baby oil beforehand will make wax removal easier. It can also be useful to shave beforehand as wax and body hair do not like each other.

Once you are ready then remember as always consent is sexy, discuss and agree with your partner what you both are expecting and would like to try. While we want this to be exciting and erotic, as a beginner we need to err on the side of caution. There is plenty of time to become more experienced so why rush the fun anyway? Also when it comes to wax play you should definitely be sober, for many reasons, not least that alcohol can increase your pain tolerance so you could end up with burns. Remember that everybody's pain thresholds are different so always test the way on the inside of your wrist before dripping onto your partner.

Always drip and don't pour. You should be dripping the wax from at least a a couple of feet above the body, this gives the wax a little time to cool. Be careful not to get wax anywhere near the face, in the eyes it can even cause blindness so be careful. Be aware that wax can splash. A great place to start is your partners back or bottom, drip the wax slowly, let it cool and then go back to connect the dots. Take it slow and also think about incorporating other textures and temperatures. Peeling off the wax with a butter knife can also be erotic and fun for both of you.

Remember not to leave any lit candles unattended. This could get very steamy very quickly, but remember to stay safe. As long as you use the right candles for your experience level and take fire safety precautions then wax play shouldn't be any more dangerous than burning candles at home normally. You may even find classes in your area for wax play amongst other kinks, which is something that I would personally love to take part in. 

Finally, don't forget aftercare. When you have something like BDSM involved, you have to make sure there’s also an element of emotional aftercare - positive things like cuddling, reassurance, water, gentle kissing and hugs. In the case of wax play a massage with a soothing lotion, aloe vera or sunburn cream is a perfect ending... Or beginning of the next part of your sensual session...

I would love to hear your tips for wax play and any experiences you may have had in the comments. I will report back with my own tips as well of course...

Stay safe. Have fun. Issy x